Violence against womenand girls is a hate crime because violent acts are primarily or exclusively committed against women. This violence is gender-based–acts of violence are committed against women expressly because they are women. The acts perpetrated by individuals–almost always by men and boys—include sexual assault, rape, domestic violence, FGM, kidnapping, honor killings, and other murders. Besides being a hate crime such violence is an obvious health issue and a violation of human rights.For the purposes of this narrowly defined opinion, the broad categories of psychological abuse and state or group based maltreatment–such as mob violence, sexual slavery, human trafficking, forced prostitution, feet binding, and instances of religious based condemnation and violence against victims of rape—will not be considered.
Statistics year in and year out indicate that at least one in five women world-wideare physically or sexually abused by a man sometime in their lifetime. The violence occurs in all races, cultures, religions, ethnic groups, and socio-economic strata. Gender-based violence against women accounts for as much death and ill-health in females aged 15–44 years as cancer, and is a greater cause of ill-health than malaria and traffic accidents combined. More often than not, the violence is perpetrated by someone the woman knows, rather than a stranger. Marital violence is a major risk factor for serious injury and even death, and women in violent marriages are at much greater risk of being seriously injured or killed.
I have spent a considerable portion of my lifetime engaging in martial arts—boxing, wrestling, karate, judo, Jiu Jitsu, Aikido, and Krav Maga. I have a soft spot in my soul for women and girls and a sense of protectiveness towards them. Women and girls should not be mistreated. Period. For that reason, I have concentrated my martial arts activities in my later years on teaching self-defense to women. Almost entirely, it is men who hurt women; so, I will only teach women and girls. Let me be clear about my philosophy: Personal defense means that the girl can protect herself against an assailant and can use whatever measures necessary to be able to go home intact. Such defense includes skill in martial arts, use of weaponry, screaming, yelling, kicking, hitting, and getting the attention of law enforcement and decent bystanders. I make no bones about it; it is better to answer to critics after having survived an attack than to be a sweet, nice, obedient victim. If he brings a fist, she brings fists, elbows, knees, feet, head butts, pressure holds, pepper spray, and a taser. If he brings a knife, she brings a gun. That is to say, do what is necessary to go home in one piece. At the end of a violent encounter, it is the man—the attacker—who should be injured, maimed, or killed. It is the attacker who should have to deal with the police or to bear the shame and humiliation of having committed a crime, not the girl.
Here are the rules I try to inculcate into the psyches of my students:
- Learn to avoid dangerous places, not to wear provocative clothing, not to enter the company of people you do not know, avoid intoxicating substances, taking chances on the wild side—no infatuation with “bad boys”.
- Learn how, when in a bad situation, how to negotiate, to plead, to gain sympathy, to threaten.
- Learn to scream, to run faster and farther than the attacker, to get the attention of potential protectors, report to police officers, parents, and friends about suspicious or actual perpetrators. Do what is necessary to be able to flee or to fight.
- Learn to fight. Keep it simple: learn where and how to kick, hit, gouge, bite, and injure joints, eyes, muscles, fingers and toes, and any vulnerable parts. Learn not to be a victim, not to freeze up, not to give up. Never make a half-hearted self-defense effort designed to suggest to the attacker that you might not like what he is doing. If you need to fight, do it all out. Poke an eye to blind, break fingers, smash teeth and nose, render the attacker helpless and unable to continue. It is work and takes years of training to know how to protect yourself. Start now.
- Never under any circumstances allow yourself to be forced into a vehicle or into a secluded place by a perp. It is better to fight to the death in plain sight and with the possibility of witnesses than to be taken. Many women and children have saved themselves by becoming a wolverine when accosted. Such an encounter is no time for daintiness or prissiness. It is not a time for analysis or contemplation. Learn to act suddenly and ferociously.
- Be brave. If you are in an abusive relationship, go to the police or just get out before it is too late. If you observe such abuse, be brave and report it before disaster occurs. No girl or woman should have to endure a rotten life. There are people and agencies that care and will provide help. Be smart about it.