-On the menu—Swiss restaurant: “Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.”
-On the menu—Polish hotel: “Salad a firm’s own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people’s fashion.”
-In a Hong Kong supermarket: “For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service.”
-On the door of a Hong Kong tailor shop: “Ladies may have a fit upstairs.”
-In Hong Kong dentist’s office: “Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.”
-On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: “Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.”
-On the door of a Rhodes tailor shop: “Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.”
-In a Rome coin laundry: “Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.”
-Roman doctor’s office: “Specialist in women and other diseases.”
-In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: “Take one of our horse-driven city tours. We guarantee no miscarriages.”
-A detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: “Stop. Drive Sideways.”
-Tokyo ladies ware shop: “Our nylons cost more than common, but you’ll find they are the best in the long run.”
-Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: “Cooles and heates. If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.”
-Tokyo car rental brochure: “When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.”
-Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: “Would you like to ride on your own ass?”
-In a Bangkok temple: “It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.”
-Cebu, Philippines rest room: “Not to stand on toilet seat. Practice using flusher device.”
-A sign posted in Germany’s Black Forest: “It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping sit that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.”
-In an East African Newspaper: “A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.”
-From Pravada (in Soviet Leningrad): “There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.”
-At the Budapest zoo: “Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.”
-Norwegian cocktail lounge: “Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.”
-Copenhagen Airline Office: “We take your bags and send them in all directions.”
-Majorcan shop entrance: “English well talking.”
-Another Majorcan shop entrance: “Here speeching American.”